


The Beginning Part 2

by Occasionalcoffeethereturn



Category: The X-Files RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-06-17
Packaged: 2018-03-26 02:10:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3833113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Occasionalcoffeethereturn/pseuds/Occasionalcoffeethereturn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You may have read my previous work under the username Occasional Coffee.  After a few problems including with my computer and a busy time, I am back, under the username Occasional Coffee The Return.  Imaginative I know.  All of my other stories are here, but in order to update them I've had to post them again.  The old stories are under the name of 'orphan account' but all will have the same titles.  This is the next few parts to my story 'In the Beginning' which you really need to read before starting this.</p><p>This is my take on how things could have started way back when in 1992...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Off to Canada...?

Auditions really were like nothing else she’d experienced before, like a terrifying interview for an actor. She was back at the Fox studios again but this time with five other different women, equally as blonde and busty as the first time she’d been. She recognised one of them, Cynthia, from New York and gave her a nod and a smile. At least this time she’d retrieved her car from the other side of town and driven herself to the audition. Of course David had offered but she’d preferred to go it alone and do this herself. He’d already helped her out so much already… She pushed thoughts of him to the back of her mind, knowing that they’d only distract her. 

She’d been told on the phone to wear a suit which she’d agreed to, then hung up wondering why she’d agree to wear something that she didn’t want to wear and didn’t even own. It wasn’t her style at all. She ended up borrowing a black suit, and at least it got to be black, from David’s friend’s girlfriend who was taller than her, causing the pants to drag on the floor when she tried them on. Luckily for her she owned a pair of heels that made them the right length and all in all she didn’t think she looked that bad, apart from being extremely uncomfortable and once again feeling a little out of her depth. There it was again, another thought of David. She just couldn’t shake him from her brain today.  
So here she was, sat in the studio corridor this time, not hidden away in the stair well like she’d managed before. She flicked through the pages of the script in front of her, but had learned her lines already and was eager to get going, and fortunately her last name meant that she was first up. Apparently doing this alphabetically was the fairest way to do it. It was a different scene from before and this time she was sat opposite a man in an office describing to him how she knew of Fox Mulder and something about debunking a project. There was another non-speaking actor in the office with them smoking a cigarette and she knew what she’d be doing as soon as she left the building; he had done nothing to subdue her cravings.

It had seemed to go well and she’d checked the script afterwards realising she’d not forgotten any words and had put in all the pauses and inflections and voice changes that she’d noted on the paper. She recognised one man with bright white hair and beach clothes from the first audition who didn’t speak a word to her until the end of all the auditions. They called each of them into the tiny audition room no bigger than a closet and told her she’d got the part. Her mouth dropped open and she stared at them all for a few minutes, their faces warm and smiling back at her. She could hardly believe it, at least twelve other actresses had been through this process and they’d chosen her. Well now she finally had fucking nailed it and her hard work had paid off. The producers asked her not to tell anyone else and she tried to keep her facial expression neutral as she stepped outside the office. She’d promised a ride to Cynthia back to her hotel and she hoped the traffic wasn’t that bad to make the ride as short as possible. She was a rubbish liar and would just have to rely on her acting skills to get her through the journey.

She came home to find The Rolling Stones blaring from the speakers and him frantically filling a suitcase with clothes, sneakers and anything else he could lay his hands on. She laughed to herself as she found herself calling David’s place her home. They weren’t living together, they weren’t married. This was just for a couple of days and obviously he was going away somewhere. She turned down the stereo which caught his attention, already stripping off the black suit jacket and high heels.

‘Hey you congratulations!’

‘How did you know?’

‘They called me to tell me I had a wardrobe fitting, I asked if they’d cast my co-star yet and they told me. We’re going to Vancouver apparently to film this show.’

‘Canada, really? We are? When?’

Grinning wildly he took two large strides towards her and picked her up, her legs automatically going around his waist. He twirled her around and kissed her as best as he could through her giggles, backing her up against the wall of the hallway. Her thighs gripped his back tightly as his fingers popped open the buttons of her shirt. His mouth was on the lace of her bra, teasing her as he kissed along the edge of it, his thumb roaming over her nipple. 

‘Tomorrow night they’ve booked us on a flight,’ he mumbled, reaching behind her to undo the clasp of her bra and finally unbuttoning her shirt to reveal her toned stomach. He lifted her away from the wall slightly and she pulled her arms out the shirt sleeves, and shrugged herself out of her bra. The shirt fell to the floor and he kicked it away from them, his mouth eager to be on her breast and take her nipple into his mouth. He walked forwards causing her back to bang against the wall and she felt him hot and hard against her pelvis through the thin material of her pants.

‘We should really be more careful with that suit. It’s not mine.’

He released her breast grazing his teeth over her nipple and causing her to shudder and looked up at her. ‘I’ll get the dry cleaning bill. Fuck it. I’ll buy her a new suit.’  
She gasped, pulling at his hair as his mouth descended on her nipple once again, licking, sucking, teasing and biting her gently. His hand moved roughly down her body, barely getting through the limited space between them and his palm cupped her, feeling her wet against his fingers. He worked the buttons open and the zip with great difficulty, and his fingers were on her clit, massaging slow rough circles against her. She cried out and bucked her hand against him, desperate for more contact.

‘You could put me down David.’

‘I don’t want to put you down.’

‘Okay…’

‘I want to congratulate you right here and now by fucking you against this wall. But I can put you down if you’d rather.’

‘Don’t you dare.’

He moved her forward again, holding her tightly in his strong arms and she released her legs from around his thighs, allowing him to pull down her underwear and pants in one swift motion. She was sure she heard something rip but it wasn’t her fault if it did and she was hardly in a state to care. She managed to kick the clothes away and was naked against the wall while he was still fully clothed. Her legs wrapped round his waist again, her wetness spreading over his jeans as she grinded her clit against him and the rough material. He replaced his mouth on her breast with his hand on the other, and she was finally able to capture his lips with hers, her tongue violent in its assault against his causing him to moan and thrust against her. Their teeth clashed and she could taste blood in her mouth from where she’d bitten his lip or he’d bitten hers, their need and hunger for each other causing the pain to turn to pleasure. 

He fumbled with his belt buckle and cursed himself for putting it on this morning and managed to free his cock from his jeans, not caring that they were halfway down his legs and her hands gripped his shoulders as he guided himself into her, her nails leaving marks she was sure.

They both moaned at the friction and the contact as he filled her and he looked down at where their bodies were joined, stilling himself and as he forced his gaze back up to hers.

‘This isn’t just what it’s about,’ he mumbled against her lips as he drew back and thrust his cock inside her as slowly as he could manage. He pulled out of her slightly and thrust   
again, his eyes screwed up in concentration and desire etched across his features.

‘What?’

Now she was really confused, confused and aroused to the point of pain as her clit throbbed against his cock and she squirmed wishing his hand would touch where they were joined together.

He seemed to know what she wanted as his fingers gently touched her clit and he thrust inside her once more. She was desperate for him to speed up, desperate to be feel his thrusts hard and fast against her and he picked this moment to try and tell her something. He obviously couldn’t stand it any longer as he started to move inside her, every thrust causing the wall to shake and every thrust accompanied by a rough stroke of her clit. 

‘It’s more than just this…’

He forced himself to be still again and looked at her, smiling back at him. She squeezed her inner muscles against his cock and he took the hint, holding her tightly and driving into her. His fingers flicked and rubbed her clit and he knew they were both close as he drove into her, his thrusts speeding up and encouraged by her heels digging hard into his ass. Her moans were louder and the wall creaked as she found her release, crying out against him and sinking her teeth into his shoulder. The pain and the aftershocks of her orgasm meant he was right behind her, panting as spilled himself inside her and held onto her as tightly as he could.

She unwrapped her legs from him slowly, careful not to get cramp in her muscles and he lifted her down towards the floor slowly. She thought she knew what he was trying to say but had been too aroused to think straight. He kissed the top of her head and let his jeans drop to the floor, heading towards the bathroom to clean up and picking up pieces of discarded suit on the way. He was quieter than usual and she knew she had to say something to him to reassure him.

‘David?’

He turned to the sound of her voice as his hand rested on the door.

‘I think it is too.’

++++

Their flight was a quiet one with passengers dotted across seats up and down the plane. He was the only one she knew amongst the various producers and writers that were heading with them to Vancouver. It certainly wasn’t necessary for her to sit next to him with all the space available and she had wondered if the amount of time they were spending together had aroused any suspicion but quickly put the thought to the back of her mind. This man was her co-star and almost certain to be a good friend. If they suspected things were any more than that then she’d just have to convince them otherwise. And for all she knew this show could tank and she’d be back to square one again, begging to get her part time café job back.

She looked at him as he sat next to her, chewing his nails with a furrowed brow as he poured over a battered copy of an Ernest Hemingway novel. He was doing nothing to help the books condition as he folded it back on itself but seemed to want to have his hand nearest her free. He’d scoped out who was sitting where on the flight and when he realised no one was paying attention he’d let his hand graze hers, fingertips fluttering lightly over her knuckles. She’d sucked in a breath and leant against the window, allowing the sensations to let her fall asleep. This man had come into her life and swept her up like a whirlwind. He was an enigma and she delighted in trying to solve pieces of him. It was strange to her that the rest of the world seemed to be come blank when he was near her. Scenery and people blurred, background noise was a distant hum and all she could see, hear and smell was him. Only him. The intensity of it all was nearly enough to take her breath away.

He risked a side glance at her and saw her head was leant against the window, her denim jacket acting as a pillow. Her eyes were closed and her breathing had slowed down, her lips parted slightly. His fingers continued their tracing of hers, and he paused as he realised his concentrations had stopped on her third finger. On her left hand. He checked she was indeed still sleeping as he gently caressed the place where a band would sit. It wasn’t that he was adverse to marriage, just that he’d somehow reached the age of thirty two and it just hadn’t happened yet. What scared him is the complete lack of fear he felt thinking about it now. Thinking about it with her. He looked at his hand as it dwarfed hers, his lightly tanned fingers in sharp contrast to her pale, smooth white ones. It had been a week. He needed to get a hold of himself. He shook his head and went back to his novel, knowing the words that would be coming next as he turned the page. He allowed himself the luxury of touching her for a little longer as his fingers continued the journey over the back of her hand, stopping only to retrieve a blanket from under the empty seat next to him.

She caught his eye in the reflection of the aeroplane port hole. Busted. She wondered how long he’d been watching her but knew she’d not fallen asleep for very long, she didn’t feel nearly tired or groggy enough to have had a long nap.

‘You watching me sleep Duckony?’

‘Duke-oh-v-ny. Jesus you could at least learn a guy’s name before you let him fuck you.’

‘Shut up. You don’t get out of it that easily.’

‘I’ve been waiting for you to wake up.’

He was met by two perfectly elevated eyebrows that let him know he should elaborate.

‘So yeah I had to watch you to get that kind of detail.’

She giggled low in her throat and the sound went directly to his groin, causing his dick to stir in his jeans. How did she do that to him?

‘Why did you want me to wake up so badly?’

‘I got you a blanket.’

She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion at him. ‘You wake me up when I’m already sleeping to tell me you got me a blanket?’ 

She shook her head at him, still smiling and watched as he took the large rectangle of nylon fabric out of the sellophane wrapper and began to tuck it around her. She noticed he’d moved the armrest between them up and narrowed her eyes at him. He was deliberately keeping his expression as neutral as possible as the edge of the blanket covered his right arm. She bit her lip as she felt his hand on the upper part of her thigh, massaging her leg muscles through her jeans.

‘I thought you might sleep better if you were… Warmer.’

‘Warmer? Or hot?’ she breathed as his fingers nimbly reached up to undo her zipper and pop the button at the top of her fly.

He leaned in close to her, his mouth next to her ear, his tongue practically touching the flesh of her lobe. ‘One… Leading to the other,’ he whispered.

She over at him before allowing her eyes to drift shut, leaning her head back against her jacket once more. He still had his book folded over in his left hand and was pretending to read as she felt his hand inch its way in the opening of her jeans. His fingers slowly tangled through her damp curls, careful not to make his movements too obvious underneath the blanket and she barely suppressed a shudder. This was a very dangerous game he was playing and the very thought made the wetness pool between her legs. First the bar now mid-flight over American-Canadian airspace.

She relaxed against his hand and felt his long middle finger ease its way down between her cleft. She bit her lip as she felt his first stroke, long, deliberate and slow from her entrance to her clit and down again. He was going to drive her mad. He drew a lazy, firm circle round her clit before he stroked her again, long and hard. She felt her flesh harden in response to him, was aware of her nipples erect against the lace of her bra and the fabric of her sweater. His finger glided up and down with ease, deliberately slowly and catching the bundle of nerves with each stroke. She had to hold back and stop her hips from moving against him, but did manage a tiny rocking motion against his hand.  
The slow strokes and firm circles were driving her crazy, her wetness embarrassing and she was sure passing stewardesses could smell her arousal but it all felt so good and it was all so damn hot that she was finding it hard to care. He hadn’t said a word but had made a good show of changing the page he was reading one handed. He stroked up and down and around over and over at the same speed, the same pressure. She wasn’t sure she’d make it to Canada and was desperate to grind herself down hard onto his hand.   
He dipped his finger inside her, a sigh escaping his lips at the firm walls that clamped around him. It seemed he wasn’t the only one who wasn’t sure he’d make it across the border. He sensed her impatience and she felt his eyes on her, causing her to open one eye. Her pupils were dilated and her cheeks were flushed.

He angled his body towards her and asked her if she needed to use the bathroom. She nodded, barely perceptibly and he swiftly withdrew his hand, zipping her up as quickly and as best he could. She missed his fingers already. She stood on unsteady legs with the blanket still wrapped around her and adjusted the rest of her pants before turning and placing the blanket on the seat. He moved his legs out the way so she could pass by and made her way the short distance to the bathroom at the back of the plane. She knew he’d be joining her in a few moments and wondered how long he’d manage to sit there before he caved and joined her. Trust him to be the one to make her join the mile high club.

The flight was calm and the stewardesses were chatting with people up front, getting ready to serve the drinks. They didn’t seem in any hurry and they certainly weren’t paying him any attention. He had left it all of two minutes and thirty seven seconds before placing his book, spine upwards on the seat and heading towards the bathroom she was in. Luckily there were two at the back of the plane and he’d kept a careful eye out to make sure no one else ventured there.

She stepped behind the door as he opened it, closing it and locking it behind him. She stepped to the side as he pulled down the baby changing seat and lifted her to perch on the edge.

She raised her eyebrows as she quickly reached for his fly to free his cock, knowing that neither of them would last long and they didn’t have long before people wondered where they had got to.

‘I scoped it out when we first boarded.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah,’ he growled, roughly pushing his hand under her sweater and squeezing her breast, his thumb pinching her nipple. 

Her head dropped back against the wall as he thumbed her nipple through her bra and she pushed her jeans off her hips, toeing off her shoes so her clothing fell to the floor. She was open to him perched on the ledge and he stroked her again, ensuring she was still wet and ready for him.

‘David you’re crazy,’ she breathed as she wrapped her legs around him, pausing and watching as his cock twitched at her entrance.

‘Yeah? Well you make me crazy,’ he whispered.

He probed her clit and coated his tip in her wetness before entering her in one long, hard stroke. She muffled her cry against his shoulder and he waited while she tightened her grip against him, her hand working her way down his body to find her clit where they joined.

‘I’m crazy about you, you know.’

‘Let’s just say,’ he hissed. ‘That we’re…’ He pulled back and thrust hard and deep inside her. ‘We’re crazy about each other.’

He lifted her off the ledge and held her tightly around the middle of her back, lifting her up and nearly off his cock before guiding her back down again. His movements caused his thrusts to be deep and powerful and her face contorted in pleasure as each descent gave her more friction against her clit. She was close and she knew from watching him that he was too. His thrusts sped up, his movements more frantic and he buried her head between her breasts, managing to pull her nipple into his mouth and bite down hard. She grunted, trying her best to keep quiet as he backed her against the door, the surprise and the angle causing her to spasm and come around him intensely. He thrust erratically trying to slow down as she rode out her orgasm, but she bit down hard onto his collar bone. He thrust deeply once, then twice and and he was coming inside her, his eyes tightly shut in concentration.

Her breathing was in short, sharp pants and he gently placed her back on the ledge to allow her to calm down.

‘Oh my god,’ she whispered as she wiped her face with a paper towel.

He’d turned away from her awkwardly as he tried to clean himself up and put himself back together. His finger tilted her chin up so their eyes met and he placed chaste kisses on her lips, rubbing her nose with his.

‘Crazy,’ he whispered back.

He bent to pick up her jeans and pants and handed them to her as she smiled at him shyly.

He kissed her again on the forehead before carefully exiting the bathroom, making sure no one could see she was still in there and reached his seat just as the stewardess was serving the drinks. Talk about good timing. He ordered drinks and snacks for them both and settled back into his seat, not quite believing what he had got away with, but oblivious to the knowing look on the silver haired man a few rows in front of him who’d seen more than he should have done.

++++ 

He rescued her bags off the carousel and dumped them on a wheeled trolley on top of his own. What did she have in there, rocks? She announced to the group that she needed to use the ladies room and he couldn’t help but blush as he watched her walk away to the opposite end of the concourse. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Chris and gave him a nod. The older man stood opposite him, their heights making them eye to eye.

‘You know I couldn’t help but notice…’

David felt his skin prickle and he cleared his throat nervously. He thought they’d been so careful but maybe things looked more obvious than he realised.

‘Notice what?’

‘Let’s just say David that your sleeves are up and your heart is showing.’

They locked eyes and David knew there was no backing out of this one, at least not easily. He dropped his chin to his chest. ‘It’s not that serious Chris.’

‘Maybe not yet…’

‘Listen David. I’ve seen that look on a man’s face before. I saw it in the mirror the week I met my wife. Don’t push her.’

He ran a hand through his hair, checking the concourse to make sure they were still alone. ‘I don’t know what it looks like, but I just met her. We aren’t gonna run off and get married or anything.’

‘No, I know. But as someone who you might consider a friend one day, let me give you some advice. You push her too far and she’ll run. And you can’t do that. I can’t let you do that. This show is too important for this to get in the way of things David. Be careful.’

‘The show is important to me too. She’s important to me. I don’t want to fuck it up, any of it.’

Chris nodded, appreciating his honesty. He could see in his eyes how much she meant to him. The guy had it bad. ‘Good. Then we’re on the same page. I’m just telling you to be careful. You know as well as I do she could break your heart and it won’t heal for twenty years, maybe ever.’

‘I won’t let that happen.’

‘I hope you’re right. There’s chemistry between the two of you that I’ve never seen before in anyone. Don’t let anything get in the way of that, and don’t break something you won’t be able to fix.’

David nodded, distracted by the redhead making her way back towards him with a spring in her step and a smile on his face making him smile too. Wordlessly, Chris left them, but not before he watched them and saw how their faces changed in each other’s company. They were in their own world together and he felt like he was intruding just by looking.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been a week of sixes. The sixth episode, the sixth night where they were working late, running over schedule, the sixth time they had done this scene and the sixth time she had muttered ‘fuck’ under her breath as she once again, failed to get her words out correctly. It had also been six nights since she’d been back to her own rented apartment. She realised this many sixes together made for a very bad omen.

She’d got into his car and wordlessly fastened her seatbelt, laughing to herself as the windscreen wipers sprung to life without him having to switch them on. The sky was crying with rain, just like she seemed to be on the inside too.

What had happened to the happy-go-lucky, bouncy, giggly twenty four year old that had stepped on that plane in Los Angeles six weeks ago? Where was she? Was she still there? Was this really what her life was destined to be like for the next few months? Was she feeling like this because she hadn’t had enough sleep or was she trying to run somewhere with nowhere to turn and nowhere to go? 

She looked over at him, his jaw set and his sigh loud as he upped the speed of the wipers a notch. He was driving in the direction of her place, so that was at least something. Maybe they could both do with some time apart from each other. Was that what she wanted, at least for a bit? When did everything get to feel so complicated and so intense?

They’d just sort of fallen into one another in more ways than one. He was there when she woke up, there most of the day at work and they came home together and fucked the hours away, seeming to forget themselves and their characters. And they both had just let it happen, neither had questioned it themselves nor questioned each other. They talked, but they never really talked. But it wasn’t all doom and gloom and she didn’t always feel this way. She knew he would never mean to stifle her, never do anything to her that she didn’t want. In fact he’d do everything for her. She could see it on his face and read it in his eyes.

What was so wrong with that? He was easy to talk to, the banter flowed between them and the energy they had when they were at their best was positively palpable. She laughed hard when she was with him, the air was brighter and the sounds were louder and she needed nothing else when he was there apart from him. Yet it felt like the two of them together was consuming her, like he was consuming her. Where exactly did she end and did he begin? They’d become inseparable, yet it didn’t feel wrong, it felt so very right but it was almost too right. Didn’t they need to shout and scream at each other? To argue? Throw things?

She felt his hand on her arm, his thumb rubbing the fabric of her coat and she realised he’d stopped the car outside her apartment block.

‘Penny for them.’

She shook her head, confused.

‘Your thoughts.’

She couldn’t help but smile and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. ‘You want to come up and…’

‘Talk?’ he offered. ‘I’d like that.’

The walk from his car to her front door was a short one, sped up by the fact they jogged across the forecourt in the rain to try and shield themselves from the wet. Or wetter. Both of them were soaked from the earlier takes outside anyway so attempts to try and stay dry were entirely futile. Despite the short distance and the short time it felt like a lifetime for him. He could tell she was having doubts about what exactly it was they were doing together. Maybe he’d come on too fast too soon, but she hadn’t ever sent him away she’d never said no to anything. Every time he was inside her, holding her, he knew she’d wanted him as much as he wanted her. Maybe they both needed some time apart, may be that was a good idea, at least in theory. He’d have to convince himself that it was. He remembered Chris’ advice from all those weeks ago, ‘push her too far and she’ll run’. He had to be careful here and let his head rule and do the sensible thing. Listen to what she wanted, respect it and hope that she’d find her way back to him.

He hadn’t felt this much pain since he’d been dumped by his high school sweetheart. She hadn’t even said anything yet but his heart felt like it was being ripped from his chest, laid out on a board and about to be chopped with a meat cleaver. 

They shed their wet outer clothes and she threw him a dry towel from the bathroom. He rubbed his hair with it, trying not to smell her scent on the fabric.

‘I’m not sure how I feel about… About this…’ she ventured, her hands gesturing in the air between the two of them.

He nodded and watched as she took a seat at the kitchen table. She was silent and he debated whether or not to help this along, get it over with quicker. ‘We’ve spent a lot of time together recently.’

She reached a hand out and pulled him over to her, forcing him to sit down next to her. ‘I mean I have wanted this, all of this but… It’s just so…’ She sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

‘Intense?’

‘It’s so intense, it’s… Blinding. You know sometimes David I don’t know where you end and I begin.’

His hands were on his thighs and he couldn’t quite manage to look at her.

‘You can still touch me you know I’m not… I’m not saying…’

He remained seated as she stood and moved to stand between his legs. His arms looped up around her waist and he held her there as her hands interlaced around the back of his head.

‘Listen, whatever you want…’

‘Well what do you want?’

‘This… Us… Whatever. It’s too good to throw away. That’s all I know right now. And I don’t want it to be over.’

‘I’m not saying it is over.’

‘I know but… For whatever reason… It feels like that’s what you are saying. It’s hurting like it’s what you’re saying.’

He rested his head against her belly and she felt dampness on her shirt. She knew it had been the only item of clothing she was wearing that had stayed dry following the shoot. Shit was he…

‘David are you crying?’

Fuck fuck fuck what the hell was he doing? How had he let that happen? Jesus Christ he knew he was tired but he had to get a grip here or he'd scare the living daylights out of her. He rubbed his face against her shirt and sniffed loudly before smiling up at her. His face was free of tears but his eyes were red and dewey.

'I'm sorry. It just happened and I couldn’t stop and I’m sorry. Shit... I should probably just go.’

She didn’t say anything, she couldn’t think of what to say and was a little shocked. This was the last reaction she’d expected from him and it made her heart ache to think she’d upset him this much. He really truly was invested in this, clearly had feelings for her and this more than perhaps she’d given him credit for.

He got up to leave but she grabbed him by the sleeve. ‘Don’t go, not like this. Not when you’re upset.’

‘Gillian I can’t stay, you don’t need to see me like this. We both need to sleep so I should go.’

‘I don’t… Shit…’ her eyes glazed over, tears began to run down her face and she knew she was powerless to stop them. ‘I don’t want you to go. Sleep here, just stay with me.’

‘I can’t. Gillian I have to go. I think we both maybe need some time apart and I need to give you time to think things through.’

‘I hate seeing you like this, I’ve never seen you like this. You’re right I do need some time but please don’t leave, not now and not like this.’

‘You shouldn’t see me like this, that’s why I should go.’

‘Stay David, please. Have a shower and come to bed.’

He looked at her, her face stained now with tear tracks, cheeks red and hair stuck to her forehead begging him to stay with her. He knew it was the wrong thing to do, he knew he should go and calm down on his own with a few shots of something and a cigarette or five but he couldn’t ignore her face like that and he couldn’t say no to what she was asking of him.

She heard the water turn off and knew he’d be in bed with her soon. She knew it was dangerous asking him to stay and she knew she shouldn’t have pushed him, but her need to comfort him when he looked so broken outweighed any sensible thoughts in her mind. He was upset and she, in part was to blame for that. Damn it this wasn’t supposed to hurt anybody, this was supposed to be simple enough. It was supposed to be fun. Maybe everything would look better in the morning.

She felt the mattress dip as he got in next to her and she reached over and rested her head on his chest, letting his hands rub her back. She glanced at the clock. If they were lucky, they’d get six hours sleep.


	3. The end of the Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We reach the end... Of the beginning of it all... Until the next flight to Vancouver that is... Thanks for reading as always.

He couldn’t put an exact point on where exactly things had gone wrong, but he knew they had. Since he’d fucked things up by crying on her they’d still spent time together, but it was less often and it was definitely different. He’d tried to give her the time and space she needed and she was grateful, but he got the feeling she always felt he was after something more. In reality he was, he wanted her all to himself and for himself. But the truth was at the moment he’d take whatever she was prepared to give him, be it a late night drink after work, a rushed dinner or a night at her place. And there’d been a few of each of them. And of course they still ended up sleeping together a couple of times a week. That part was inevitable. There was an electricity, connection and frisson between them and a desire to be inside her that he’d never experienced with anyone else before.

He knew she’d been out for a drink a few times with one of the assistant art directors. What was his name again, Cliff? Clive? Claude? She’d apparently resisted his advances for a while and from what he had heard, she’d been intrigued that he hadn’t seemed that bothered she’d said no, but he’d asked her out again the next week anyway. He could hardly blame him. He’d heard from the boom mic guy they were always talking about fine art. Why hadn’t he known that she liked fine art?

He managed to lift his head from her car window and staggered around her front yard towards the front door. There hadn’t been enough whisky in the bar to numb his pain at the realisation she was slipping through his fingers and the feeling that there was probably nothing he could do about it. 

‘David. This is becoming a habit of yours.’

‘I wish you were a habit.’

She shook her head, guiding him over the threshold and watching as he unsteadily made his way to the sofa, flopping down with his legs askew.

‘We’re at your place. This is your place? I can go home.’

She nodded at him. ‘Yes we’re at mine.’

‘Is he here? Cliff, Claude, whatshisname.’

She sighed and ran a hand over her face, shaking her head. ‘He doesn’t live here David, you know that.’

She disappeared to the kitchen and filled two tall glasses with water, resting one of them against her forehead. This was the third time this week she’d been called by various liquor selling establishments down town to come and pick him up. She couldn’t keep doing this, but she also couldn’t help caring for him. She couldn’t hear him anymore and thought he must have passed out on the sofa, so moved towards the coffee table to leave the glass of water for him. He surprised her though, by still being awake.

‘Why are you with him?’

‘David don’t do this, it’s late.’

‘Don’t do what? I asked a question. Why are you with him? Does he really do it for you?’

She shot him a look and he was sure his balls were turning blue and he winced. He was one step away from being thrown out on the street, but he needed to see how far he could push her, see how far she’d go. He had to know if he could rescue anything from this. Clyde! That was his name.

‘I bet he only fucks you one way. Missionary Clyde.’

‘David. I am not listening to this. Goodnight.’

‘He does doesn’t he? He only fucks you one way. I bet you never come and you have to get yourself off. Does he even go down on you?’

She threw water from her glass over his head soaking his face and watched as he recoiled in surprise. He couldn’t think that she’d let him get away with that, surely.

‘Fuck off David.’

The icy water stung his eyes but he’d clearly hit a nerve. Truth hurts sometimes and he was clearly digging a little and getting under her skin.

‘I can’t believe Klotz is so cunt averse. Gillian you’re so beautiful. I love tasting you.’

‘David, please stop.’

‘You don’t want me to.’

‘No, I really do want you to.’

‘We need to talk though, wouldn’t you say?’

‘Is this what you call talking? Coming into my home and insulting my… My…’

‘Your what, boyfriend? Of course I’m gonna fucking insult him, he doesn’t deserve you!’

‘Oh and you do?’

He breathed heavily through his nose and downed gulps of water trying to dilute the alcohol in his system. If he didn’t tell her this now he’d lose his nerve and never do it.

‘We… You and me… Gillian. We are good together.’

‘David we weren’t together. We…’

‘We what? We were just fuck buddies? Friends with benefits? You wanna keep telling yourself that? I kept telling you it was more than just the sex to me. You need to hear it again? It was more than just sex to me Gillian.’

She steadied her breathing and looked at him. What could she say to that? It was more than just sex to her but she wasn’t ready to receive what he wanted to give to her. ‘We had a lot of sex though.’

‘I didn’t hear you complaining. I just heard you coming. Loudly. Repeatedly. Especially when my face was between your legs, sucking your clit and tasting your cunt.’

‘David stop I told you before.’

She told him to stop but he’d just got started. He saw the blush creep onto her cheeks, the flush of skin at the base of her neck, her subtle increase in breathing. She was turned on and he knew it. And he was not about to back down that easily.

‘Let me touch you.’

His words took her by surprise. She stood, empty water glass in her hand and stared at him.

‘What?’

‘Let me touch you. If you’re not as wet for me as I am hard for you then I’ll leave. I call a cab and I’ll go.’

She inhaled deeply, her feet rooted to the spot, knowing what he’d find if he did touch her. She was soaking wet and it was all for him. How could she not be turned on by him, drunk and uninhibited in her lounge telling her how good she tasted?

‘What if I am?’

‘Well let’s see shall we. I’m going to touch you Gillian and we’ll see.’

He pushed himself up and made it off the sofa, the heat of the situation and the water having sobered him up a little. He stepped towards her and she still didn’t move away from him so he ventured forward a little more. He could hear her breathing harder now, not in fear but with arousal. Her nipples were visible through her shirt and the skin on her chest was pink.

He wrenched the glass out of her hand, throwing it in the corner of the room and she gasped then winced as she heard it smash. This was, without doubt, the hottest thing he’d ever done and her eyes widened as he took her by surprise and pinned her against the wall next to the fireplace, wrists held firmly above her head.

His hand toyed with the button of her fly and he popped it open, trying to read the expression on her face. Her eyes never left his as his lips invaded the space in front of hers, coming close but not touching her. She could feel his breath on her lips, smell the whisky, cigarettes and something else that was just uniquely him.

He edged his hand down and under the elastic of her pants, fingers scraping through her curls of hair. Her skin was hot and he smiled as his fingers reached the sodden juncture of her thighs, his middle finger giving the barest of brushes against her clit.

‘You’re wet. For me.’

‘Yes,’ her answer was barely a whisper.

‘Just for me?’

She nodded. 

‘Say it.’

‘I’m wet just for you David.’

He sank to his knees and pulled her jeans and pants down over her hips, his fingers rough and his nails leaving scratch marks on the edge of her thighs. She was naked from the waist down and shuddered in anticipation as he pushed her more firmly against the wall, throwing her clothes towards the coffee table. She gasped again as the other water glass toppled over the edge of the table and smashed on the floor.

His face was on her clit, licking her, sucking her, his teeth nipping her as he drunk her in. Desperate for more she bent her knee and draped one leg over his shoulder, digging her heel into his back. She wasn’t normally one for pushing a man’s head down, but she felt helpless against her own arousal as she clutched his face against her, fingers scratching his scalp. Oh God she’d missed this. How long had it been? How had he been so right that sex with Clyde could never, ever compare to this? He moved his tongue to dart in and out her entrance, his nose brushing his clit as he did so and groaned as he slowed his pace, tongue fucking her languidly and her fingers now pulling at chunks of his hair.

Was it sick of him to want her to beg for it? To beg for him to be inside her? If that was the case then he was a desperately ill man. He knew he was making her lose it standing up but he kept going, his mouth now suctioning hard over her folds and the tip of his tongue poking the barest brushes against her clit. He could vaguely hear her calling his name but her pussy was intoxicating so he carried on, his tongue resting on her clit and his teeth scratching at her folds. He barely registered pain somewhere as she pulled on his hair sharply and his neck snapped up to look at her, her juices coating his chin and dark, brooding eyes sparking at her with intent.

‘Fuck me.’

It was a simple command but it doesn’t really qualify to him as begging. He held her still against the wall, keeping her there and she watched as his head bowed forward towards her again, preparing to continue devouring her.

‘No!’ 

She almost screams at him and his head shoots up to look back at her.

‘I need you David. Now. Please.’

He let her go with the same ferocity as he attached his face to her cunt and she barely hears the loud clang of his belt and the zip of his fly over their breathing. He grabs her by the wrist and pulls her to the sofa, nearly causing her to trip as she struggles out of her jeans. He doesn’t bother taking his off completely, all he cares about is being buried deep inside her.

He is everywhere on top of her and she welcomes his weight with parting legs, which instinctively wrap around his back, heels digging into him. He sinks into her with ease; he’s hard enough to cut diamonds and they both groan at the much needed contact. She wants this rough and hard and fast, needs to have the feel of him pounding into her and as always he does not disappoint her. Her pelvis tilts up to meet him with every thrust and he pulls back and almost out of her before hammering back inside again. She feels the spot on her front wall burn and she knows she’s so close to coming. His fingers palm her breast and tweak her nipple to a hard, painful peak before his mouth sinks down onto her breast, his tongue circling her areola and his teeth biting down on her. She cries out at the sensation and his eyes meet hers as he grabs her roughly by one ankle. She nods and tells him yes breathlessly and sits up, their connection never broken and puts her ankles on his shoulders. He plunges in and out of her at the new angle and she urges him loudly as he pounds against her cervix, filling every crevice of her and feels her thighs start to quiver.

‘Yes David ohgoddontstop…’

He couldn’t stop even though he’d love to torture her some more, it feels too good and he needs this too much. He needs her too much. She lets out a low guttural moan and her eyes flutter shut but he wants to see her when she comes.

‘Stay with me,’ he whispers, realising he’s now the one who sounds like he’s begging.

Her eyes flick open as he bends forward pushing her legs back towards her and she’s coming, long, hard and loudly. He winces as he watches her ride it out, somehow knowing this may be the last time for a long time and wanting to savour it. She’s so beautiful and he’s never wanted anyone much as he wants her, but if he carries on thinking like that he’ll lose it. He doesn’t hold back this time and it’s two or three hard thrusts before he empties himself inside of her, her walls quaking around him still and the sounds of harsh ragged breathing filling the room.

++++

They’d headed up to bed silently, he didn’t ask to stay but then again she didn’t tell him to go. He’s under the covers by the time she’s finished cleaning up in the bathroom but sleep is the last thing on his mind and she knows it. She’s never felt the presence of ‘we need to talk’ in a room before but it engulfs the atmosphere like a smoke and she knows she has to cut through it.

She slips under the sheets beside him and drapes an arm over his waist, her head on the pillow next to his.

‘You feeling ok?’

‘Sober if that’s what you mean? Yeah.’

She nods. The atmosphere persists.

‘This…’ she lifts her hand off his waist to gesticulate and he finds it and holds it with his own.

‘I want to be with you.’

Her hand stills and she looks at him, knowing that this conversation was coming. Knowing that he’d ask more of her than she was perhaps prepared to give right now and she’s at a loss as to how to explain herself. She thought she understood how she felt but as the days went by she was more and more uncertain. She needed him in her life more than she needed anyone or anything else and the thought of that scared her, but it was more to it than a fear of commitment. This was a fear of losing herself.

Her silence was positively deafening and he could hear his heart beating between his ears and feel it in his chest. Whatever she was about to say to him could not be good news. 

‘Gillian don’t be with him, I don’t want you to be with him. Please.’

Blue eyes met hazel ones as she held his gaze, her fingers twisting in his and playing with his chest hair. ‘This is very difficult for me to try and explain. You’re dangerous David.’

‘Dangerous?’

‘Dangerous because I forget myself when I’m with you. I forget everything. I can’t have someone like that in my life all the time David. I need you. My god I need you but this… Us? This won’t work.’

He swallowed hard and nodded. He was dangerous? Now that he hadn’t been expecting. And she was right, it was difficult for her explain but even harder for him to understand.

‘You… You still need me?’

‘I will always need you in my life. I would never not want you there. I will always need this… Whatever it is between us. This energy. This… Part of us.’

‘The sex?’

‘It’s more than that, I think we can both agree. But… Yes. The sex, but more importantly, just you. I just need you. That is what I’m saying.’

‘So I should what, not be a stranger.’

‘Never.’ 

He cuddled her close and nuzzled his nose into her hair. He was far from satisfied and definitely far from happy, but she was in his arms, they were together in bed and it was all she could give him, for now at least. She had been frighteningly honest with him and he was grateful, but the same feelings he had when he met her on those stairs had stirred in the back of his mind. This woman would be in his life for a long time yet to come and he would do his upmost to never, ever let her go. Maybe in ten years, maybe twenty she would work out that sometimes you took a chance on danger and she’d finally throw her cautions to the wind.


End file.
